Making judgments about conflicts in someone else’s family is a tricky and thankless task. It’s better to simply state the facts. Fans of David and Victoria Beckham were shocked by their son Brooklyn’s revelations about the animosity within their famous family. The 26-year-old footballer took to social media to share a series of posts claiming that his family tried to sabotage his relationship with his wife, actress Nicola Peltz. Ultimately, Brooklyn announced that he was severing ties with his parents, as reported by Daily Mail.
According to leading British psychologist Claire Jack, there are five key signs that it’s time to definitively cut ties with unbearable family connections.
“People who dare to sever family ties are often labeled as bad or selfish. However, emotional abuse within a family is so hidden from outsiders that friends and other relatives simply don’t understand why someone would want to distance themselves,” Dr. Jack notes. But if you dig a little deeper, it may turn out that are actually very toxic, and continuing them is unnecessary. So, what should you pay attention to?
Family relationships have a profoundly negative impact on you
The first sign that these ties have reached a critical point is their powerful destructive influence on you.
“If a toxic family continues to show you disrespect, ignore your boundaries, and manipulate you, you have every right to cut ties with them,” Ms. Jack assures. According to the expert, people often don’t realize the full consequences of being in such relationships.
There’s nothing positive in these relationships
Of course, you can endlessly convince yourself that maintaining family ties brings positive results. However, the psychologist recommends weighing carefully what you gain versus what you lose.
“If you feel that there’s nothing positive in your relationships, it’s likely that they have run their course,” she explains.
You’ve finally realized that your family is not a sacred institution
In childhood, many of us viewed our family as something sacred and inviolable. This is one of the main reasons why severing relationships is often considered taboo for most people.
“When you reflect on your own experiences and realize that your family is not a safe and pleasant place for you, it may be time to leave,” Ms. Jack believes.
You try to talk to family members, but they don’t listen
If you decide to discuss the situation with your family but they don’t listen, it might be time to stop with “close” people.
Here’s what the expert thinks about this: “If they respond by saying you’re making things up, that you’re strange, or start behaving aggressively, it may be time to go. These people will never understand your perspective or acknowledge their shortcomings.”
You realize that their treatment of you is unacceptable
During family disputes, people often recall their childhood and ultimately conclude that what happened then and is happening now is unacceptable.
Unfortunately, they often realize this only when they reach their 40s or 50s, says Ms. Jack. So perhaps it’s finally time to break away from abusers—those who, under the guise of care, pressure you, manipulate you, and make you feel guilty.
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