Energy vampires are often friends, colleagues, or acquaintances who drain your when you spend time with them. The first signs of such individuals include excessive complaining, a focus solely on themselves, and a lack of interest in you and your life.
So how can you identify an emotional leech?
According to renowned British psychologist and author Suzy Reading, these individuals are characterized by an overwhelming need for attention and care from others. Additionally, energy vampires can gradually undermine your through ambiguous compliments or by pressuring you to suppress your true feelings.
Writer and journalist Radhika Sanghani asserts that you can primarily recognize such a person by the feelings that linger after your interaction with them. “For instance, I would leave a conversation feeling drained, realizing that the problem wasn’t with me,” she noted.
Here are three ways to combat energy vampires, according to Suzy and Radhika.
Tell them how you feel in their presence
Many people may not realize how their behavior affects you. Of course, such a conversation can be uncomfortable. However, if you honestly express how you feel, it can significantly improve your mental state.
“There are countless examples where people were shocked to receive such feedback. They had no idea how their behavior impacted others,” Suzy explained. Sometimes, this honesty even helps preserve friendships.
Radhika suggested framing the conversation like this: “When we spend time together, I don’t feel like I have a place in it. I don’t feel heard. No one asks me anything.”
A true won’t ignore what they’ve heard. “But if a person immediately denies everything and takes a defensive stance, that means they aren’t worth my time,” she says.
Set clear boundaries
If a friend is unwilling to change their behavior and you can’t cut them out of your life, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries to protect yourself.
This can be done by reducing the time spent together or setting specific communication rules, as noted by BBC. First, determine what is acceptable and what is not. “For example, you could agree not to send endless messages or discuss emotional matters,” Suzy suggests.
You can also change the format of your time together. If you usually grab coffee or dine at a restaurant, try something different. According to the experts, you might consider going for a or engaging in sports together. This can neutralize the vampire’s need for constant dominance.
Be prepared to cut ties
According to Radhika, it’s important to assess and acknowledge your after meeting with someone you suspect might be a vampire: “If you had a conversation, think about whether it was a +2? Do you feel uplifted? Or was it a zero or even a -2, where they drained all your energy?”
You need to trust your instincts about whether to limit the time you spend with this person. And if you feel that nothing can change between you, don’t hesitate to put an end to the relationship.
“In some situations, I simply step back, especially if it’s someone I’ve just met,” Radhika noted.
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