GabyOur kids are 100% reflections of ourselves. Sure, there are exceptions—some children grow up completely different from their parents (for better or worse), and I’ve seen that too. But sometimes, the resemblance is so striking, it makes you smile without even realizing it. You start to see yourself from the outside.
When Sasha was little, I couldn’t fully grasp why people say that everything you manage to give your child from the moment of conception until the age of five—that’s all you’ll ever truly give them. I didn’t dwell on that thought much, but I had one clear principle:
Since Sasha was a long-awaited, very wanted child, all of my maternity leave was her time.
From the moment she was born, I knew her every breath. We never spent a minute apart. If she wanted to read—we read. If she wanted to draw—we drew. If she wanted to play outside—I was right there with her, playing just like one of the kids. I even earned the reputation of being “everyone’s best friend,” which, to be honest, made some moms a little jealous.
I’d run around with them, crawl through bushes, roll around in the woods. When we played “bandits,” I was right there in the dirt. Thanks to my short height, I don’t think there’s a single slide I didn’t go down.
I even remember braving those wild twisty tube slides in Israel, half afraid I’d get stuck, just to hear Sasha’s squeals of happiness—because no other mom dared to do it! And that meant the world to her.
And here’s something else I’ve come to learn—not from a book, but from experience:
The only real way to teach a child is by your own example.
If you smoke, no matter what you say, your child will see it as normal. You can’t convince them it’s wrong if you’re doing it yourself.
My husband, unfortunately, smokes. But I took a different approach. When Sasha asked, “Is it okay to smoke? Why does Dad smoke?” I told her honestly: “It’s very bad. But it’s a personal choice. Dad is a grown man. But have you ever seen me smoke, even once?”
I explained to her why girls especially shouldn’t smoke. She looked at me with admiration and said, “No, Mommy, you never smoked—and I never will either!”
And now, five years later—I get it.
I see the results of every effort I made in those early years, even when I was tired, even when it would’ve been easier to do nothing.
Now, there’s a real person beside us.
A thoughtful, kind friend whose opinions we value and whose trust we cherish.
And that… that feels so, so good.
