This conclusion comes from Yuri Ryurikov, a well-known “love specialist,” after a long journey from his first book, “Three Trains,” to the newly published first volume of his encyclopedic trilogy “Love and Family at the Turn of Time.” The journey spans 25 years.
What does he mean by this?
First and foremost, he points to our psychological illiteracy — our inability to love and care for one another. This inability often leads to divorce or to marriages that have crumbled from the inside, surviving only for the sake of the children. Even in seemingly happy families, family members communicate less and less, instead turning to newspapers, television, or computers. It turns out that the better off they are, the less free time they have for each other, because material possessions consume that time.
“Life’s challenges and financial struggles do not kill love; instead, they often draw loving people closer together. This realization is very important to me,” says Yuri Borisovich. “I hesitated for a long time before coming to this conclusion.” He explains that the “simple arithmetic of feelings” suggests that needs always drain our emotional energy—the kind of energy we could direct toward love—leaving only fatigue, irritation, and anxiety. However, this arithmetic does not apply to happy people—they approach their relationships algebraically. In other words, they invest their emotional energy not in worrying about material needs but in caring for their loved ones.
What does such behavior protect us from? What rewards does it bring? Material deprivation is inevitable. This concept is vague and relative, especially considering our current crisis. For most people, material deprivation typically leads to a bad mood, which they often take out on their closest family members, further worsening the situation. Happy individuals, on the other hand, handle it differently—they share their troubles equally.
The psychologist believes their principle is “the worse the conditions, the better the relationships,” calling it one of the most resilient foundations of happiness.
