Carlos SolisHealth psychology experts how to shift our thinking to promote overall well-being. Analyzing the roots of destructive behavior can pave the way to overcoming challenges. Change begins with self-compassion—psychology views this feeling as essential for maintaining health.
The Path to Resilience
American psychotherapist, author, and meditation teacher Jack Kornfield, who has spent decades promoting Buddhism, argues that our compassion is incomplete if it doesn’t extend to ourselves. Unlike selfishness and narcissism, self-compassion is rooted in recognizing our own emotions and accepting them with care and support. In psychology, self-compassion means showing kindness and understanding to ourselves during tough times, acknowledging and supporting ourselves through failures, suffering, and imperfections.
This includes mindfulness—the ability to notice our and experience them without judgment, accepting them as part of who we are. Another aspect of self-compassion in psychology is the concept of shared humanity: understanding that we are not alone in our suffering—failures and flaws are part of the human experience. The third characteristic of self-compassion is kindness towards oneself, offering warmth and support in difficult situations. Self-compassion aims to preserve our resources so that we can care for ourselves and ultimately help others when needed.
Self-Acceptance and Health
Self-compassion is fundamentally different from self-pity—a feeling that often comes with avoiding responsibility. In contrast, the practice of self-compassion teaches us to support and understand the problems of others. According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a psychologist, those who are lenient with themselves are happier than those who judge themselves harshly. The ability to support oneself enhances emotional resilience and helps reduce feelings of irritation and —psychological factors that contribute to unhealthy habits (destructive emotions increase the risk of an unhealthy lifestyle).
Thus, self-compassion is crucial because, first, it improves emotional well-being: it increases life satisfaction and reduces stress, . Second, self-compassion boosts motivation for achievement and self-improvement: it helps overcome difficulties, learn from mistakes, and move forward without dwelling on setbacks. Furthermore, self-compassion enhances relationships with others, allowing us to empathize with them and be kind to the world. Therefore, it is not a weakness but an effective tool for improving psychological health and personal development.
Self-Sabotage and Health
On the opposite end of the spectrum from self-compassion lies self-sabotage, which involves hindering our own goals and ignoring our state, needs, and feelings, negatively impacting our health. This leads to stress, and chronic stress and health are incompatible. Psychological issues, poor habits, and a lack of self-care worsen mood and physical well-being. The inability to achieve goals breeds dissatisfaction. It is well-known how emotions influence lifestyle: while positive emotions boost productivity and promote a healthy lifestyle, negative emotions do the opposite.
Self-sabotage can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, hopelessness, and loss of motivation. It poses a threat to physical health, manifesting in poor eating habits (choosing unhealthy foods, under-eating, or overeating), substance abuse, lack of physical activity, and sleep disturbances. A crucial step in overcoming this issue is identifying the causes of destructive behavior. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help change negative thought patterns that lead to self-sabotage.
Changing Behavior
Health psychology is the study of psychological, behavioral, and cultural factors that affect human health. Such specialists investigate, among other things, why people struggle to eat healthily or what prevents them from undergoing regular medical check-ups, how stress and negative emotions impact well-being, and how to change thinking for a healthier lifestyle and improved health. Living a healthy life means choosing a way of existence that promotes physical and mental well-being. Achieving good health requires striving for balance on physical, cognitive, emotional, and spiritual levels.
It is essential to pay attention to physical health, mental development, and the search for meaning—what drives us to live and act. Psychologists teach us to develop self-regulation skills: the ability to manage emotions and stress can help eliminate or significantly reduce self-sabotaging behaviors. This is facilitated by taking gradual steps toward goals (moving forward in small increments can lighten the burden of overwhelm) and self-support (instead of criticizing ourselves, we should focus on the positives and achievements that boost motivation and enhance self-esteem).
Motivation for a Healthy Life
Living a healthy life is a choice driven by an internal conviction about the importance of self-care. However, it can be challenging to prioritize our well-being when we place others’ needs above our own. Some may find it easier to adopt a victim mentality and wait for someone else to take care of them.
Psychologists identify several reasons that hinder people from taking care of themselves:
- destructive parental examples;
- lack of knowledge;
- low self-esteem;
- misunderstanding of self-care;
- lack of reflection and a habit of living day by day;
- ignoring medical check-ups due to fear of a serious diagnosis.
Key aspects of self-care include:
- choosing healthy eating (nutritious foods, adequate water intake, following a proper diet);
- engaging in manageable physical activity and exercises that keep muscles toned;
- restoring an optimal daily routine with quality sleep and sufficient rest;
- avoiding harmful dependencies;
- regular health check-ups and following doctors’ recommendations;
- recognizing our true needs and motivations;
- increasing stress resilience through meditative and other practices;
- education and self-development;
- periodic digital detox and immersion in real life;
- spiritual growth.
When we have motivation, it becomes easier to carve out time for self-care amidst other responsibilities. Past priorities lose their significance when we stop trying to please others and instead focus on what is vital for our physical and mental health. Self-care is not about instant gratification—it is oriented toward long-term well-being. The comfort of returning to a resourceful state enhances our quality of life.
