Psychologists refer to the first battle with aging as the crisis of those aged 40-45, with the next significant crisis occurring between 60 and 70. Feelings of loss, disappointment, and helplessness often accompany this stage of life, but navigating through these emotions is essential for understanding how to move forward. A more realistic outlook on life, which emerges from , helps foster new forms of relationships with the world around us. If each age crisis represents a shift in our worldview and societal status, its primary lesson is to learn to embrace our renewed selves positively.
The Psychology of Aging
Unlike the “turning points” of youth, the age crises of maturity and old age are less studied. In the latter half of life, these “milestones” occur less frequently and tend to unfold more subtly, but that doesn’t mean they are easier to endure. The restructuring of consciousness and the reorientation toward new goals, which lead to changes in activities and relationships, profoundly impact personal development.
We no longer go to work, may not live with our children and grandchildren, and perhaps have lost loved ones. Social isolation, lack of communication, and health issues negatively affect the psychology of older adults, often resulting in nervous breakdowns and depression. The fear of death exacerbates this sadness: the desire to live is so strong that the mind struggles to accept the inevitability of an end.
Another common social fear in the psychology of aging is gerontophobia, or the fear of growing old. We worry about : some dread the frailty and changes that come with age, while others feel repulsed by older individuals because they remind us of what we will inevitably become. In various countries, there have even been reports of suicides triggered by the onset of aging signs.
Psychologists also note two extremes. The first is when mature individuals ignore the signs of aging, refusing to adjust their appearance or lifestyle, which can appear pitiful and elicit sympathy. The other extreme is when people completely neglect their self-care, causing disgust among those around them. Accepting aging with dignity means organically adjusting to a new rhythm of life while maintaining respect from society.
Professional Challenges
The path to respect lies in professional fulfillment, so as long as health permits, it’s important to hold onto a job that makes a person feel needed and self-sufficient, preventing the feeling of aging. Losing a job can be a significant issue: being laid off is often perceived as a defeat. Two primary emotions arise: fear (“What will happen next?”) and resentment (“Why was I the one let go?”). When considering that colleagues, relatives, and friends will learn about the layoff, shame joins fear and resentment.
For many, their workplace serves as a calling card, an essential part of their identity and self-perception, so losing a job can feel like a partial loss of face. They must reconstruct their self-image, which is a deeper issue than it may seem at first glance. A sense of hopelessness intensifies if a person focuses solely on the situation, ignoring other aspects of life. Psychologists provide examples of emotional collapse based on different behavioral types.
The Victim
The laid-off individual constantly complains about the unfairness of the management’s decision, trapping themselves in a victim mentality and giving the impression of being a weak person who seems to accept that they deserved such a verdict. If this state is cultivated, it becomes increasingly difficult to escape over time, leading to diminished self-esteem and self-destruction.
The Aggressor
Others, in response to being laid off, begin blaming colleagues and the “ungrateful employer” for all their woes. By positioning themselves against others, they jeopardize relationships even with those who initially sympathized with them. With feelings of resentment, it becomes challenging to find new employment: when candidates criticize their previous job during interviews, it does not enhance their chances of securing a new position.
The Doomed
Another behavioral response is to view the layoff as a death sentence while outwardly displaying complete calm. The individual does not express their emotions and refrains from discussing what happened, as they simply cannot reveal their personal drama to others. They may even pretend to continue going to work daily, deceiving everyone, including themselves. In such cases, feelings of loneliness can escalate into a sense of life’s futility.
The Right Decision
It’s crucial to detach from the problem and focus on leaving with minimal losses, both psychologically and materially, while maintaining normal relationships with management and colleagues. Psychologists advise behaving as if we made the decision ourselves, resigning voluntarily. In part, this will be true.
If you ask yourself whether you are willing to work where you are no longer valued or needed, the answer is predictable – no. To protect your self-esteem, it’s essential to separate yourself from the situation, recognizing that many underlying reasons are not directly related to you. This may open up opportunities to improve your life in the future.
How to Cope with Stress
Psychologists offer advice to help navigate circumstances we cannot change.
Stretching
Lie down and stretch. By stretching tense areas of the body, we release hidden emotions. Once we let go of the tension, we immediately feel better.
Breathing
Most people hold their breath when anxious or worried. Deep inhalations and exhalations provide relief. Breathing in through the mouth into the belly and exhaling through the nose slows down breathing and brings calm.
Tension/Relaxation
Raise your eyebrows and open your mouth as wide as possible (engaging all facial muscles), then relax. Tense your entire body (clench your fists, stand on your toes, lift your shoulders, tense your limbs) and then relax sharply. It’s best to perform these exercises while lying down. Once you release the tension, you will feel relaxed.
Quick Recovery
Run as fast as you can, then take a slow walk to calm your body and slow your heartbeat. This action (alternating rapid acceleration with immediate relaxation) trains the body to recover quickly from stress and psychological pressure.
Warming Up
Rub your hands until they feel warm, then place them on your face and enjoy the heat radiating from your palms. This helps calm you down, creating a sense of comfort.
Ignoring
When anxiety strikes, tell yourself that now is not the time to solve these problems – you can think about them later.
Music
Listening to can be helpful during tough times.
Accept and Let Go
In the face of adversity, new perspectives open up. The key is not to cling to the problem. Life goes on, and sooner or later, everything will fall into place.
How to Navigate Retirement
While some dream of retiring, a privilege many are denied due to rising retirement ages and required work tenure, new retirees often do not welcome the changes in lifestyle. Instead of joy from newfound free time and the opportunity to relax, many feel a sense of emptiness. What happens to us during this life stage, and how can we navigate it with minimal losses?
In exploring the psychology of aging, experts note that “retirement stress” is particularly acute for those who engaged in active, creative work and for those who live alone, far from their children and grandchildren. The “honeymoon phase” (which psychologists compare to the initial stage right after retirement), when a person experiences euphoria from newfound freedom, soon gives way to a phase of disappointment.
The “awakening” occurs when expectations do not match reality. For example, a person may have planned to help raise , but their children refuse assistance. Someone else may have intended to grow vegetables, but health issues prevent it. The loss of health and disappointment in loved ones can come as a shock that many are unprepared for. Thus, the most constructive next step is reorientation and stability.
According to psychologists, those with high self-esteem adapt best to retirement. Therefore, those struggling to accept their new status should practice self-compassion. It’s important to frequently recall personal achievements and view even the smallest victories (like completing a home renovation or baking a delicious pie) as significant successes. By recognizing their strengths and weaknesses, individuals should find activities that keep them afloat.
We Are Responsible for Our Lives
Unfortunately, not everyone goes through the stabilization phase – some never find themselves in retirement. Many retirees believe that their lack of demand is someone else’s fault: children who do not want to live with their aging parents, former bosses who lost a valuable employee, or friends who neglect to provide attention and support. A common issue in the psychology of aging is shifting the responsibility for one’s life onto others.
Psychologists point out that our own disorganization often diminishes the quality of life in retirement. By neglecting self-care, failing to prepare meals, or not cleaning the house, we create a corresponding mood of sadness and apathy, which is difficult to escape. To prevent despair and feelings of doom from becoming habitual, it’s essential to change tactics: mandatory daily tasks can help regain footing and rediscover joy in life.
Elderly loneliness weighs heavily on residents of large cities, where no one seems to care. Those in need should maintain contact with social protection and service agencies. For psychological comfort, specialists recommend that lonely older adults care for pets, as they are loyal and selfless companions that can bring positive energy and health.
By caring for those who need our attention, we feel stronger, although we may also become more anxious, as researchers have found. Nevertheless, interaction with animals fills people with optimism. Additionally, psychologists suggest engaging in social media, joining interest clubs, reading, learning foreign languages, traveling, exercising, gardening, crafting, and pursuing hobbies.
How to Come to Terms with Aging
To overcome the fear of aging and accept its inevitability, it’s essential to live joyfully, as proactive centenarians have done, who have lingered in this world for two or three human lifetimes (according to documents from the 18th to 20th centuries): Hungarians Zoltan Petridge and Peter Zortai lived to 186 and 185 years, respectively; Ossetian Tense Abzive lived to 180 years; Turkish Hud lived to 169 years; Abkhazian Kurban Kurbanov lived to 160 years; and Pakistani Syed Abdul Mabood lived to 159 years.
When does old age begin? In Ancient Rome, people were considered old at 40, as life expectancy was 28-30 years. Today, the World Health Organization defines older adults as those aged 75-90, while those over 90 are considered centenarians. It may seem that there’s no escaping aging, but in reality, everyone can delay the aging process. All it takes is following these tips.
What You Need for a Fulfilling Life:
- Choose a lifestyle and activities that are primarily acceptable to you, regardless of relatives, acquaintances, or public opinion;
- Try to approach the world around you with kindness and friendliness to experience fewer negative emotions;
- Engage in physical exercise, prioritize walking and active games, and spend more time in nature;
- Avoid drastic weight fluctuations, maintaining optimal shape throughout your life;
- Eat a balanced diet;
- Select appropriate skincare and haircare products and use them regularly;
- Avoid harmful habits;
- Don’t neglect your health – regularly undergo preventive check-ups and follow doctors’ recommendations;
- Don’t be bored: expand your interests, find hobbies and enjoyable activities;
- Believe in yourself.
What You Need for Psychological Comfort:
- Don’t worry about others’ opinions;
- View situations from a distance;
- Don’t regret lost opportunities;
- Learn to be grateful;
- Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself;
- Recall happy moments from your life;
- Live in the present;
- Don’t envy anyone;
- Surround yourself with happy people;
- Never stop exploring the world.
Prohibitions for Those Over 60:
- Don’t rush and enjoy the little things;
- Don’t chase perfection;
- Don’t worry about what others think;
- Don’t try to please everyone;
- Don’t argue;
- Don’t solve others’ problems;
- Don’t accumulate unnecessary things;
- Don’t worry about the future.
To ensure our autumn years are not a “season of gloom,” but rather a “velvet season” and “Indian summer,” psychologists recommend filling life with aesthetic enjoyment (painting, embroidering, decorating, dancing, listening to music, watching movies), avoiding negative emotions, poor sleep, or neglecting work and rest routines, and not overwhelming the nervous system with excessive demands on oneself while living without haste.
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